Last week, Apple announced that it will blow off any developer who wants to create a fart app for iOS. The introduction of new App Store Review Guidelines is designed to clean up the quality of the mobile software catalog, and as part of this the company states: “we don’t need any more fart apps“. I guess this probably makes sense, given that there are hundreds of these apps, all of which serve the same purpose: to make fart noises.
The fart app saga started at the back end of 2008, when Apple relaxed its “limited utility” submission rule to allow Pull My Finger to be released onto the App Store. This opened the floodgates for developers to knock out fart soundboards, which captured the tiny minds of countless iPhone users around the world. They became so popular that, at one stage, iFart Mobile was pulling in around $10,000 a day for its developer.
As time went on and more and more flatulence apps came out, inevitably, things got a bit dirty. In July 2009, the developer of Pull My Finger attempted to sue the make of iFart Mobile over copyright infringement. The case even made it onto a hilarious report on The Daily Show.
In August this year, Apple’s own App Store director, Philip Shoemaker caused a bit of a stink when it was discovered he was selling his own crude apps in the store. His company, Gray Noodle, publish Animal Farts, an app which features a series of mammals bending down and letting rip; as well as iWiz, an app which plays editable urination sounds.
Here’s a run-down of our favorite fart apps of all time. Thanks for the memories guys, it’s been a gas: iFart Mobile – The king of the fart apps, iFart Mobile is still going strong after all this time. Probably the most fully featured program of its kind, contains utilities such as sneak attack, security fart, fart-a-friend and fart budz. Among the dulcet tones available are the ‘Dirty Raoul’, the ‘Jack the Ripper’, and the ‘Double Duck’.
iToot – A soundboard of 19 fart sounds, iToot uses bar charts to analyze the make-up of each blow off. For each noise it displays data about wetness, force, duration and melody, helping you choose the perfect fart for the occasion. There’s even a Time Bomb, that lets you schedule guffs to go off at a set time.
Push My Finger – A witty take on the phrase ‘Pull my finger’, this app allows you to play parps by tapping the hand that appears on screen. The beauty of Push My Finger is that it allows you to record your own farts, and store up to 100 of them in the system. There’s also an auto-push feature that reels off a series of sounds one after the other. Beautiful.
Fart Studio – If you take fart noises very seriously, then this is the app for you. Fart Studio is the professionals’ choice, giving the user complete control over the sound output. You can drag your finger around the screen to control the disgustingness of farts, and add one of a number of visual farting effects.
Bluetooth Fart – This technological breakthrough in fart simulation allows you to remotely control wind emissions using Bluetooth. Install the app on two iOS devices, then plant one of them discreetly next to your ‘victim’. When you’re well out of sight, use the other device to let it off and watch as the hapless chump cops the blame.