Surely you’ve wanted to know how old Bowser, the main villain of the ‘Super Mario Bros’ series, is in order to send him a little birthday gift: a Peach kidnapping here, a Super Mushroom there, a record deal to replicate the success of ‘Peaches’… Well, don’t worry, because Nintendo has revealed the exact date of his birth, and it’s best not to dwell on it too much because he was still four years away from being born in the first NES game. That’s right: we were throwing a baby-in-progress into the lava. Oops.
With my star we’re gonna rule
A new Nintendo video showing how to create an account on Nintendo Switch briefly revealed the villain’s date of birth: Do you think he’s a thousand-year-old monster who keeps coming back to life? Well, you might be surprised, because he was born on February 5, 1989. So, he’s 34 years old, and when he appeared in the first ‘Super Mario Bros’ game for NES in 1985, he wasn’t even an idea in his parents’ minds yet. Someone should let Marty McFly know, there’s a temporal mess.
As for Bowser Jr, he was born on March 3, 2010, 13 years ago… even though his first appearance in ‘Super Mario Sunshine’ was in 2002. Eight years before coming into the world, he was already causing trouble on Isle Delfino. Talk about precocious children. Of course, fans are already speculating and trying to understand how this paradox is possible, and they’ve deduced that ‘Super Mario Sunshine’ takes place in 2020, and ‘Super Mario World’ in 2013. Yes, surely Nintendo is very concerned about this and it wasn’t just a coincidence.
And considering that Bowser could already talk and move when Mario was born, we can deduce that our mustached hero was born in the ’90s and is reaching his thirties now (even though there are games that indicate they have been fighting for over thirty years). It’s not set in stone, of course: Homer Simpson has been stuck at 35 since 1987, and nobody has found it strange. It’s probably best not to dwell on it before going to sleep tonight: nobody likes to dream about temporal paradoxes involving giant lizards, after all.
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