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Essential software for the next US president

James Thornton

James Thornton

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Pimping the President’s PCAs you’re probably aware, there’s a big election going on in America next Tuesday. This means that by this time next week there will be a new resident inside the White House. Whoever it turns out to be (my money is on either Barack Obama or John McCain) they will probably feel a little nervous and apprehensive on their first day in the new job. My advice to the new president would be to spend the first morning in office installing some essential software on their PC. Not only will these apps help him settle into the job, they might just save the World. Here’s what I recommend fellas:

Homeland security

OK, the first thing you need to realise is that a lot of people may be interested in this new PC of yours. Fair enough, you may only be using it to buy Transformers on eBay or hitting the online casinos, but they don’t know that. Do yourself a favour and get protected with Kaspersky Internet Security before someone steals your barbecue grill recipes.

Electioneering

Now you’re in there, remind yourself of how great you did by splashing your campaign desktop wallpaper across your display. If you’re Barack then get this one, or if you’re John go download yours here.

Foreign policy

OK, now it’s time to get down to work. First up, grab a quick geography lesson with World of Where, which teaches you the location of World countries and cities. Maybe then you won’t have the same fuddled international knowledge as your predecessor, who once said: “We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”

Self-defence

Games can be a good way of training yourself too. In Sam and Max: Abe Lincoln Must Die you’ll be able to hone your powers of deduction and really get inside the mind of a criminal. Best of all, it’s all set in your own back yard (literally).

The Middle East

Sorry about this, but the last guy in the job left a little bit of a mess in the Middle East that might need some clearing up. Don’t worry though because you can practice your skills of diplomacy and negotiation in PeaceMaker, a game inspired by real-life events in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Economy

Actually, sorry, there’s another small problem that needs fixing. You see, it seems that there’s no more money left in the World. Yeah, I know it sounds a bit weird but it’s something you need to have a look at. Try installing Elohai Free Accounting on your PC. The program helps you keep track of where all your money is going. Best of all, it’s free!

Independence Day

You should also be aware that during your term in office you may have to defend the planet from an alien attack. If E.T. and his buddies come a knocking, make sure you’re ready by having plenty of goes on UFO: Alien Invasion.

The bunker

When it all goes wrong (which it inevitably will) it might be a good idea to take your laptop and just go and hide somewhere. Install Second Life on your machine and you’ll be able to wander around enjoying yourself in blissful ignorance of the catastrophic problems in the real World.

James Thornton

James Thornton

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