The new ‘Harry Potter’ already knows how it will set itself apart from the previous ones: the wand is new

There’s a Simpsons gag, dead-on accurate (as always in its early seasons), where Lisa launches her own doll, only to be steamrolled by the same old Malibu Stacy, who’s exactly the same but has a new hat. The same thing is going to happen with Harry Potter, a series that doesn’t dare change a single thing from the films just in case, but people will watch it because Harry has a new wand.

Expecto mismorum

The most boring millennials in the world are absolutely thrilled about the new Harry Potter trailer, which basically repeats the most famous scenes from Philosopher’s Stone (The Great Hall! The Hogwarts Express! The Sorting Hat! Quidditch!), with shots you could easily mistake for those in Chris Columbus’s film. Because HBO knows exactly what people want to see: the same thing. Again and again. Nonstop.

But this time, Harry has a new wand that looks infinitely flimsier and more generic than the one in the films. That’s what they have to cling to to justify this remake which has many more problems than the actor playing Severus Snape, no matter how much some people have insisted on singling him out, as if cashing in on nostalgia had only one limit: racism.

If you’re still a Harry Potter fan and don’t care about JK Rowling’s outrages or the copy-and-paste approach that’s almost worthy of AI, I hope you enjoy this series a whole lot. Of course, it’s going to be a hit: with any luck, the last one in this absurd fad of rebooting everything that has even the faintest hint of cheap nostalgia.