Falling in love and finding a partner through the Internet is becoming more and more common. And there is no distance that can stop the arrows of love. Social networks like Facebook or Instagram, messaging services like WhatsApp and dating apps like Tinder, Bumble or Meetic make it very easy. However, when you fall in love through the network is always advisable to go with lead feet because in this sea of data swim known as “catfish”.
Do you have an online boyfriend/girlfriend but you’ve never seen each other’s faces? Does your online partner never calls you on the phone and their computer doesn’t have a camera to make video calls? Every time you try to meet up with your cyber love, they make excuses or have a suspicious accident that prevents it? Be careful, because the person behind those syrupy text messages may not be who they claim to be.
In today’s article we are going to teach you what a catfish is, how to detect these impostors and how you can act if you are a victim of one of them. We hope it will help you!
Catfish: What it is and what it means
The term catfish (literally “catfish”) was born in 2010, as a result of the release of the documentary “Catfish”. In it, director Ariel Schulman films the journey of his little brother, Nev, in search of his girlfriend on the Internet. However, upon arriving at the farm where his beloved Megan’s family lived, Nev finds a married woman with children whose name, life and physical appearance were very different from the one he knew. He had been deceived. He was the victim of a catfish.
From the experience, the documentary shares a moral in which it assimilates some people with catfish, whose favorite food is other fish, and how being with them requires always being alert to avoid being eaten. That is why all those people who falsify their identity on social networks with the aim of finding a virtual partner or obtaining some kind of benefit from their victim are called “catfish”.
As a curiosity, the increase in long-distance relationships and the popularity of the documentary encouraged the creation of a television program called Catfish: Lies on the Net. In it Nev Schulman (the same young man who was cheated on) helps other people in situations similar to his to meet their partner face to face over the Internet. If you are interested, you can watch it completely free through the Pluto TV app.
How to detect a catfish
If you’re reading this article, chances are you have someone important in your life that you’ve met online but have never met face-to-face. Whether it’s through a simple conversation via Facebook, liking a photo on Instagram or getting a match via Tinder, nowadays it’s very easy to start a conversation with strangers. But… are you sure that the person you are talking to is who they say they are? Below you will find some clues to know if you are a victim of catfishing.
1. Doesn’t answer your phone calls
One of the classic signs that you are a victim of catfish is not being able to contact your cyber partner by phone. These imposters forge a false identity and often their age or gender does not match the information they have shared with you. It is also common for the catfish in question to be someone you know in person. A phone call could give them away and so they are used to avoiding them at all costs. It is also very common for catfish to have a partner or be married in real life, so they don’t want their online partners to have free reign to communicate with them. If your online boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly avoiding calls, be suspicious.
2. Always avoid making video calls
Your partner not accepting or not wanting to make a video call is one of the main signs that something is wrong. While a few years ago it was common for computers and cell phones not to have a camera, today they are standard on any device regardless of price.
If your online partner refuses to make a video call it is very indicative that they are hiding something from you or that it is very likely that they are not the person in the pictures they have sent you. In addition, if in any of the photos they appear taking a selfie, it is obvious that they have a camera in the cell phone and therefore could make a video call.
3. You doubt if their photographs are real
A classic modus operandi of a catfish is to open a fake account on a social network and live a parallel life on it. To do so, they usually steal photos from other accounts and periodically upload them to their own in order to make updates and not create distrust among their online friends.
If your partner has sent you photos or has several uploaded on their social network, use Google Images reverse search on them. To do this, first save the photo in question on your computer, log in to Google Images (click here to do so) and drag the photo to the center box. Google will search for that same image all over the Internet and will offer you the web pages in which it appears. If you see results appear and they appear under another name or account, it is more than likely that you are being misled.
3. Never send a dedicated or casual photo
If your online partner never agrees to take a dedicated photo, such as holding a piece of paper saying “I love you” and your name, there’s a catch. Think that catfish are only supported by the photos they steal from other users of social networks, so they are never able to take the photo you ask them to take. Of course, ask only for normal photos and nothing compromising, otherwise it is normal that they refuse to take them.
5. Their life looks like something out of a movie
Most catfish are people with low self-esteem and a rather monotonous life, so they seek to escape it by creating this alter-ego on the Internet. If your partner’s life seems like something out of the latest Mission Impossible film or the Turkish soap opera you watch every afternoon, maybe it’s time to ask yourself if they are telling the truth. Catfish not only feed on the invented adventures you tell yourself, but also on the fictitious tragedies they will cry on your virtual shoulder in search of comfort and attention.
6. No one on their friends list knows them
A catfish has a fairly large list of friends on social networks, but there will never be any friends who knows them in person nor family members. Take a look at their contacts and see if their parents, siblings or childhood friends appear. It is also common for their friends list to include only potential flirts, as this social networking account may be used solely for the purpose of deceiving potential partners.
7. They ask you for financial help and money to visit you
While there are catfish who are only looking to live the life they want through a person who is just as they want to be in real life, there are others who are looking to scam their victims. Asking for money is a very common practice, especially if they tell you they need it to pay for a plane or train ticket to come and see you. If your cyber-partner asks you for money, they may be a catfish.
8. They tell you that they love you shortly after meeting you
If that person you met on the Internet tells you a few days later that they love you and keeps repeating how much they love you and that they would marry you, you are probably a victim of catfishing. This is the main strategy to attract the victims of these predators of love. Don’t be fooled because their feelings are not true.
9. They make plans with you and then cancels them at the last minute
There are two types of catfish: the ones who will tantalize any conversation about meeting you in person and the ones who won’t stop talking about it and will even ask you out on a date. Some of these Internet imposters enjoy chatting about the day you will meet and even make plans about where and when you will meet. In this way they manage to keep their partner’s hopes up and keep her from eventually leaving them. However, catfish are the undisputed kings of excuses and will always have a repertoire of unexpected events ready to prevent you from going on the date.
10. Avoid meeting in person
If you have a steady online girlfriend/boyfriend, sooner or later you will usually want to meet them face to face. It is common for your partner to be nervous at first because of the classic fear of not meeting your expectations. What is not normal is that they do not want to meet you under any circumstances or uses strange excuses to avoid the meeting… unless they are a catfish.
Without a doubt, the litmus test to know if you are a victim of catfishing is to show up at your alleged mate’s house. If someone else shows up after knocking on the door, you will have cornered your catfish. It is also likely that if instead of showing up, you call your partner and tell them that you will see them in five minutes, they will flatly refuse and end up confessing that the whole thing is a sham.
What to do if you are a victim of catfish
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do if you’ve just discovered that the relationship you’ve invested so much time and money in turns out to be a sham. At present, the law does not offer any kind of solution to these cases, although there are a number of recommendations to help your heart heal faster.
First of all we recommend that you talk to the person who has been lying to you and ask for explanations as well as the reasons for the deception. If the person has only lied to you about their physical appearance and you fell in love with their inner self, your relationship does not have to end. Simply ask them to be completely honest with you from that moment on.
If you have come across a repeat offender in the world of catfishing, make the social networks aware of their fake profiles and report them. Make sure that this person will be completely banned from using Facebook, Instagram or the medium where you met them again and prevent other unwary people from suffering the same disappointment as you.
Finally, we recommend that you give yourself some time and do not take this experience as something negative, but as something that was meant to happen and from which you have learned a lot. Do not feel guilty because you acted honestly and wholeheartedly. From this moment on, make sure not to be so trusting with anyone you meet on social networks. Always be cautious with any stranger until you are at least sure that the person you are talking to is who they say they are.
Be smarter than a catfish
We hope this article has helped you to know what catfish means and also to avoid being victims of these Internet scams. If you liked what you have read, don’t forget to share it with your friends through social networks.
