Baldur’s Gate 3 is a game that is enjoying tremendous success, among other reasons, due to its high level of customization. Virtually anything we want to touch, modify, or change about our characters can be done. It’s a game that isn’t afraid to let us break the game, skip important content, and, in general, play the way we want. So, it shouldn’t surprise us that Larian, the development studio, hasn’t raised any objections to modding, which has significantly expanded the game’s possibilities.
Of course, this means that there are many mods that are exactly what we would expect. Adding more people to the group. Carrying more weight. Increasing the level cap. But we’re not here for that. We’re here for the bizarre. For the fun. For the strange. That’s why we’ve chosen the most utterly insane mods currently available for Baldur’s Gate 3, so you can enjoy the game as it deserves: turning it into a complete RPG mishmash with elements. But the kind of elements that you personally enjoy.
Playable skeletons
Who hasn’t felt dead inside at some point? Larian seems to have pondered this extensively in the past, as in Divinity: Original Sin 2 they allowed us to play with undead characters. Unfortunately, probably due to narrative considerations, this hasn’t been the case in Baldur’s Gate 3. We’ve had to settle for races that breathe, pump blood, and can have a pretty smile, but never the perfect smile of a good skeleton.
That’s why a kind soul has decided to create a mod that allows us to play as a living skeleton. With two sub-races within the skeleton category, divided between sturdy skeletons and agile skeletons, the most distinctive feature of the race is that they can use their own fingers as lockpicks once a day. Because, you know, it might be inconsistent to have a slug in your brain when you don’t have a brain anymore, but it’s all balanced out by the grace of picking locks with your phalanges.
Start your own band
Have you ever thought about forming your own music band? Most likely. Perhaps you’ve even done it. Learning to play an instrument, finding like-minded people, maybe doing it with friends. It’s more challenging than it seems, even if the outcome is satisfying on its own. But now you can easily do it in Baldur’s Gate 3, even if you refuse to play as a bard.
With the mod called “Start Your Own Band,” you can make all characters, regardless of their class, play a musical instrument. Does it alter gameplay dynamics? Certainly not. But now you can have your team not only go on adventures but also hop onto the tables of some dingy tavern and start playing a few big hits from Spanish post-punk, such as “Tengo un pasajero,” for instance.
Orc pride
Normally, games add nudity mods because it’s not something most developers want to incorporate into their games. In Larian’s case, they don’t have that issue to begin with, so there’s no need for any mods to enable nudity for our characters. Does that mean people creating these kinds of mods are out of work? Not at all. As expected, they’ve found a reason to continue their crusade, this time in Baldur’s Gate 3: it’s not possible to customize the size of genitals.
While there are many mods to modify characters’ genitals, arguably the most outrageous one is “Pride of the Orcs – Larger genitalia for female Half-Orc.” As the name suggests, it increases the size of the genitals when selecting a female half-orc character. The increase is, to put it delicately, like going from having a toothpaste tube between the legs to having a Pringles can filled with cement. Undoubtedly, this will enhance the gameplay experience for a very specific type of player.
Giant merchant crab
If you’ve played The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, you probably know one of the game’s most iconic merchants. A giant crab — giant for a crab, not in relation to a human — capable of speaking, buying, and selling all kinds of goods. So beloved is this character within the community that mods have been created in every Elder Scrolls game to introduce it, and now the same has been done in Baldur’s Gate 3.
What does the giant merchant crab do? It buys what you don’t want, but it also sells all sorts of items that you can combine with other mods. This makes it a mythical figure, of utmost importance. It will be your companion, ensuring you always have a place to spend your money, what to spend it on, and, let’s be honest, someone to unload all the junk you accumulate during your journey. Because let’s not fool ourselves: you don’t need to steal that eighteenth armor right in front of you. But we won’t judge you. And neither will the giant merchant crab.
Choose any race
Sometimes, the kind of madness we crave is more down-to-earth. More straightforward. Dungeons & Dragons features such a plethora of playable races that incorporating them all into a game is far from achievable for any developer aiming to maintain a semblance of logical balance within it. However, that doesn’t mean mod developers need to be burdened by such considerations, allowing them to pour the entire universe of the books into the game.
Fantastical Multiverse is a mod that adds 47 more races to the game from regions like Eberron, Malipla, or Krynn, among others. Allowing us to play as races such as the Vedalken, Minotaurs, Astral Elves, or Yuan-Ti, among many others, this mod lets us play as basically anything we can imagine. Regardless of how unbalanced it might be.
I was a goat for ten years
Something many role-playing gamers enjoy is creating stories for their characters. Intricate backgrounds that explain how they’ve become who they are and what their goals are. This aspect is present in Baldur’s Gate 3, but it’s true that it might be its weakest point: they’re quite generic and overall, not very interesting. And while there are mods that add a multitude of these backstories, there’s probably none better than “Was a Goat for 10 Years.”
As the name suggests, your character has been a goat. For ten years. Shortly after transforming back into a human, the events of Baldur’s Gate 3 unfold. You have horns, you can navigate through mud, you’re good at talking to animals, and communicating with people isn’t your strong suit. You’ve been a goat for ten years, and even now, you feel like a goat, with all that entails. Bored with the idea of being an aristocrat, an orphan, or an intellectual? Well, here’s an option that truly lets you role-play to the infinite: you were a goat for ten years. Step into the world and portray how a human would behave after being a goat for so long. Be cringe. Be free.
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