The Jedi Mind Trick That Didn’t Work: 6 Pointless Star Wars Products That Disappointed Fans

If you accurately remember the public furor over Star Wars Episode I, I have two questions to ask you: first, was there a brand that wasn’t advertised with Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Jar Jar Binks? Second, isn’t it annoying to get out of your chair and have all your bones creak at once?

From Episode I we got a more or less decent movie, hundreds of merchandising products of all kinds and some that have remained for the history of embarrassment. But I wish it all stayed there! Let’s take a look at the 6 most absurd licensed products in the history of ‘Star Wars’. Warning: galactic curves are coming.

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6-Episode III’ barf bag

Back in 2005, if you rode Virgin Airlines and felt queasy, you could have the chance to leave an honest opinion about ‘Revenge of the Sith‘ in a bag! We don’t know who came up with the idea, but we hope you didn’t rise too high in your job title.

5-George Lucas collectible figures

No, literally: in Episode III, the director booked a cameo as Baron Papanoida (who later got his own ‘Clone Wars’ episode) and dedicated three others to his sons: Chi Eekway, Terr Taneel and Zett Jukassa. Surprisingly, the set of Lucas figures sold quite well, so there was an audience for this after all.

4-Darth Vader’s motorcycle

If Spiderman had a car, why shouldn’t Darth Vader have a motorcycle? That’s what they must have thought when at the beginning of the last decade they decided to mount the saga’s villain on a vehicle that you could propel forward. There are two possibilities: either they cut an incredible motorcycle fight in ‘Return of the Jedi’, or this toy makes no sense at all.

3-Adult diapers

We Star Wars fans are getting to be of an age, but maybe this is a bit much. If you’re not convinced, you should know that they also make Popeye, Batman and My Little Pony ones. First and foremost, variety in the third age. Will these be our future Funkos?

2-Yoda’s 8-Ball

The problem with this product isn’t, per se, that Yoda can predict your future: it’s that you have to look directly into his ass. The idea is as good as it gets, but it’s really an undignified ending for the jedi hero.

1-Jar Jar Jar’s tongue

If there’s one thing we all, haters and fans, can agree on, it’s that after watching Episode I the last thing we want to do is kiss Jar Jar Binks. However, there were those who decided “What the hell: we’ll make a toy in which to suck his tongue continuously”. For whatever reason, and to the incomprehension of its creators, it didn’t sell well at all. What a thing, isn’t it?