The Windows 95 phone is the nostalgic nightmare you’ll soon be dreaming of

Windows 95 marked a huge step forward for Microsoft’s operating system. I mean, come on, it was no Windows XP, but the introduction of the Start button revolutionized Windows. It was a massive stride toward where we are today with Windows 10 and, accordingly, Windows 95 holds a special place in the heart of anybody who had a computer back then.

Aesthetically, Windows 95’s mix of teal and grey aged pretty quickly. It wasn’t long before it was outright painful to look at, but they say fashion and trends are cyclical, and this Tastefully Offensive rendering of a Windows 95 mobile phone by Russian animator 4096 proves just that. It looks, somewhat oddly, glorious!

The mockup uses the tile layout that, despite an endearing charm and functionality, famously failed on Microsoft Windows phones. It takes the tiles and gives them that instantly recognizable pixelated goodness of Windows 95. It also comes fully loaded with Microsoft Word 97, complete with Word 97’s paperclip assistant, Clippy. Interestingly, with Siri, Apple doesn’t seem to have come much further than Microsoft had gone back in the day with Clippy.

In case you’re wondering, yes, Windows 95 phones come with the Start button that will revolutionize your smartphone use. Other functions include the Sound Recorder and exclusive access to apps from the Windows 95 Store. There is also seamless Windows integration with modern apps, so you’ll be able to see apps WhatsApp and Twitter rendered in teal and grey.

Unfortunately, this render is merely a concept piece, but you never know. If we can make enough noise about it, maybe Microsoft will hear us.