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Robert Pattinson is the next Batman… we’re being serious

Jacob Yothment

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Robert Pattinson BatmanMichael Keaton. Christian Bale. Ben Affleck.

These are actors who can play both an intimidating vigilante as well as an extravagant billionaire with grace and excellence. Say what you will about their shortcomings as Batman,  each actor in their own right brought their own unique flair to the character, while still being a badass superhero.

For the next iteration of the caped-crusader, Warner Bros. has chosen this guy:

That’s right. For better or worse, the next Batman is going to be the sparkly vampire himself, Robert Pattinson.

Pattinson will don the cape and cowl in a new Batman film coming out in 2021. The film simply titled, “The Batman” is being directed by Matt Reeves. 

With Reeves, we see a glimmer of hope. Reeves directed both “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” and “War for the Planet of the Apes,” and both of those movies were awesome.

The last actor to play Batman in a live-action movie was Ben Affleck. Affleck played the role in “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice,” “Suicide Squad,” and “Justice League.” Although Affleck will not be returning to reprise his role in “The Batman,” he has been credited with writing an early screenplay for the film. Given the fact that Affleck is an Oscar-winning writer, his name attached to the project can’t hurt.

Most fans agree that despite all the faults of the DC Extended Universe, the one saving grace was Affleck’s performance.  You know… when he wasn’t being stupified by hearing “Martha:”

We’re going to try to go into this as optimistically as possible.

Yeah, Pattinson has been in some stinkers, and he’s not our first choice for who we’d like to see play Batman. However, he’s come a long way from seducing high school girls in his vampire make-up.

Pattinson has had some challenging roles that show he can take on a more macho persona. For example, in 2017’s “Good Time,” he plays a criminal who goes through New York City’s violent underground in order to get his brother out of prison.

Sure, the role is a far cry from Batman, but it’s a step in the right direction. Also, the actor has dropped hints that he was less than thrilled with his character in the Twilight films. 

Look, we might be grasping at straws, but we just want a decent live-action Batman movie. Most of everything else from the DC Extended Universe has been a stinker.

Man, here we thought the news about Chris Rock reviving the Saw franchise was random and weird.

We’re keeping our expectations low for this one, but we truly are hoping for the best. If Pattinson is great, then we will be happy. If not, we still can watch and enjoy both “Batman” and “The Dark Knight” any day of the week.

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